Saturday, February 21, 2015

High Communion/Low Complaint Relationships

There's a Christian dude, I don't know how I found him, who's a professor at Texas Christian University and a thoughtful writer. When I found his blog, I had stumbled across a brilliant article where he was contrasting Rousseau and Hobbes and saying that parents' breastfeeding behaviours were are a good proxy for whether they believed man is a beast that needed taming or man is a pure and perfect thing that gets fucked up when we bend it out of its nature.

Anyways, another great idea that Professor Richard Beck had is that of "Winter Christians". Beck believes that a 1-dimensional spectrum between the extremes of "totally faithful" and "totally faithless" is oversimplistic. He contrives a two-dimensional graph, with one axis indicating a person's level of communion, and the other axis showing their level of complaint. Now, Beck reasons, we have a model that can adequately describe himself and King David as "Winter Christians", being people who are obedient to God and in love with him, but also wrestle with everything and bitch a lot.


I would fall squarely in the bottom rightmost corner. I have zero communion with God, and high complaint. I'm an atheist.

As such, I'd like to scandalously appropriate Mr. Beck's model to talk about something he didn't mean it for: having sex with multiple women.

I have two girlfriends. I have my wife, Megan, and my other girlfriend Wrae. Wrae and Megan are both amazing. They also both see through my shit. They're not bedazzled by me, or googly-eyed. We have talks about our needs. They push back. They see me as an equal. We wrestle and resent. Plus WOW we love.

I was talking to Wrae about how what I want now is a third woman who's really easy going. I want a really easy fun relationship. Wrae said there are no such things. There are. I've had them.



Now it may be said that super-high communion relationships will always have a hefty degree of complaint. That could be true, I don't know. I think Wrae would argue that. It could also be said that the throes of infatuation may produce a high communion/low complaint relationship for a moment, but that it's inherently unstable. Also possibly true.

But that's what I'm after. Call me.

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